Porsche 911 Introduction

Two years. Maybe three at a push. This is the most a manufacturer can reasonably expect to sell a model before it needs re-designing or replacing. So what about forty years? Porsche introduced the oddball 911, or Neunelfer in 1963, and has never really wavered from it's original template. Instead it has been subject to a gentle but unyielding series of developments which has kept it at the top of its game. It remains the default option for those seeking a high performance Coupe for sub-Supercar money, and the weapon of choice for competition at many levels.

To buyers at this price point though, the statistics and the clever technology aren't enough. To deliver the knock-out blow, a car must stun us viscerally and scream sweet nothings into our eardrums for us to fall in love. The 911 has for a long time had its head in a boring study book when its friends are out experimenting with crème fraiche and PVC. We know Porsches are fast, but is 911 a sex object?

997 and GT3

Superficially, it pushes all the right buttons. The latest GT3 exhibits a form which goes beyond the need to remain stable at speed. The rounded nose and sculpted rear wing add swathes of purpose to its stance, and the effect is heightened by massive rims and an aggressive poise. 911s have always looked purposeful and slippery, but in recent years, the German marque has conceded that a car in this segment must also be pretty. Most people would agree that in its latest guise, the 997 (to give her the correct model number) hits the aesthetic G-spot.

Like an alluring meet in a dark and expensive night club, it is the side profile which first attracts. The roof and tail curve like the arched back of an exotic dancer, but this is still a show for grown-ups. Lamborghini may serve up their cars in glittering sequins and crotchless panties, but they are nothing but big-breasted porn stars. Porsche however offers an experienced and suitably seductive Geisha, a Dolce Vita among mere and showy señoritas.

This car has long been able to dance though. The 911's defining characteristic has always been a six-cylinder engine in the rear of the car. It has also historically been this car's undoing. All that weight over the rear axle gives an older 911 some seriously edgy handling and a reputation for hopping over hedges when the driver does not pay it enough attention. But the flat-six is a compact and durable engine, and over time Porsche has ironed out the unbalance and made their car more driver-friendly. It still demands respect, but the current 911 has been obsessively engineered to make it best in class. Go on a track day on whichever circuit you may choose and I guarantee you will be nailed by at least one.

Porsche 911 Engine

The engine also gives this car its characterful howl, a cool warble melding into a soulful yelp as the revs soar. Pinning the throttle vividly summons memories of passionate moans through a partially restricted female throat. New 911s are water-cooled which makes them softer aurally, and purists are still in love with the older car's bewitching bellow. Still, the new 911 is a strange car, a success of mathematics over physics. It has a voodoo curse which can be tough to shake once it has found its way under your skin. I'm not the biggest fan of the car, but I nearly gave up and bought an early 80's Carrera a couple of years ago, such is its inescapable draw.

Porsche 997 Handling Characteristics

Even the latest 997-generation model requires that you be on your toes. It is not the sweet girl you take home to meet your mother. It is the beguiling and dangerous liaison in an alley behind a bar. The 911 has always been a mistress rather than a partner. Take too many liberties and your settled little existence can soon be turned on it's head and shattered in two.

Porsche Sales Success

Porsche has managed to turn this old outcast into a modern Cash Cow. They make more money per unit sold than any other manufacturer. The softening of today's 911 represents a nod of recognition to the fact that most will be bought by businessmen who are not necessarily the most adept drivers. Porsche provides a wealth of electronic assistance to keep you from plastering yourself across the scenery. This is mankind conquering an unworkable physics equation.

911 Conclusion

There are faster cars but not many that can be used everyday like a 911. There are prettier cars too, but they are more expensive and likely to go wrong. A lot of car writers hate this car because it is a goody-two-shoes which is a teacher's pet and good at everything, and that makes it slightly dull. It is engineered to perfection, until three months down the line, when Porsche will again decide that it is not good enough and change something else on it. In this comparison however, that teacher's pet has now turned up to class in a shockingly short skirt and wielding a bottle of vodka. The German marque has been slow to acknowledge that their continual improvement must also extend to its form as well as its function. Crucially, 911 is now utterly sexy as an icon, and for this reason, this one remaining piece of the puzzle, the likes of BWM, Aston Martin, Jaguar, Mercedes and whoever else you may want to bring to the party cannot even get close.